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Diatribe: Don’t Try To Fool Your Mother. She’s Too Smart To Pay When You Hold...
I’m sure my parents would tell a different story but I don’t think I was a particularly difficult child. I got into my share of trouble but I wasn’t the rebellious sort. I didn’t run away from home,...
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Diatribe: Killer Collard Greens.
I was always one of those kids that had to be reminded to “finish my vegetables”. My family was the sort to always include at least one vegetable in most every meal and it was never my favorite item...
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Diatribe: Walking A Cabbage To Beat Loneliness Can’t Be As Fulfilling As...
I’m not ashamed to admit that I once had a pet rock … well, maybe I’m a little ashamed. But I didn’t actually buy it … I found it in my grandparents’ back yard. I gave it a name and carried it around...
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Diatribe: Goose Induced Traffic Jams.
I’ve made great progress in combating what could have been a severe case of Chronic Road Rage. I’ve learned to expect my fellow motorists to do the foolish things that used to make me angry and now...
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Diatribe: Coming Out As A Convicted Murderer On A TV Dating Show.
I had to stay home sick one day last week. It was a lay-on-the-sofa-with-a-box-of-tissues day. I curled up under a blanket with my dog and did absolutely nothing but watch television, eat a microwave...
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Ovation: Rhett Parks The Rapping Cattle Auctioneer.
I’ve been to concerts and I’ve been to auctions … and I think I can say with confidence that cattle auctioneer Rhett Parks, with the addition of some back-beat, puts a lot of rappers to shame. Take...
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Diatribe: Giving Table Scraps To Dogs Might Be OK …But Dog Treats Aren’t For...
Back in my horse days, I tried my hand at baking home-made horse treats. My horse wasn’t a finicky eater, but he was particular when it came to special treats. He didn’t care for carrots or even...
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Diatribe: Drunk Sexting A Cop.
My resume reflects a time in my career during which I worked as a Freelance Photographer. I took photos at weddings and did some portrait work as well as many images that I composed with the intention...
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Diatribe: When Beavers Attack.
We found a spider in our house last weekend. It was a large spider, about five inches long, and we were amazed to find it inside an empty wastebasket in a bedroom on the second floor. It couldn’t get...
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Diatribe: The Hot Convict.
Sadly, it seems that many of us have been programmed to believe that beautiful people have a head start on their less attractive peers. Studies completed as far back as the 1970s indicate that...
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Diatribe: Meth Grandma’s Tea.
I was a fortunate child inasmuch as I grew up in a small town where almost all of my family lived within an hour’s drive from home. We got to visit relatives frequently and be a part of each other’s...
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Diatribe: Burning Down Your House To Kill A Spider.
A few weeks ago we had guests spend the weekend with us. They stayed in a guest room that, honestly, doesn’t get used very often. We keep some clothes in the closet but mostly the door stays closed...
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Diatribe: Don’t Buy Your Lunch At A Restaurant You Just Tried To Rob.
It’s no secret among my friends and family that I love Mexican food. I’ve never visited a Mexican restaurant that I didn’t enjoy … and it seems like there are millions of them. Of course I enjoy some...
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Diatribe: What Kind Of Person Kicks A Squirrel Into The Grand Canyon?
I like squirrels. I think they’re cute. I realize they can be incredibly destructive and are a nuisance to many people in various ways but I still get a kick out of them. This summer, we’ve had an...
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Diatribe: Stopping To Pet Cats While You’re Being Chased By Cops.
One day, many years ago, on my drive home from the office two motorcycles passed me on the highway at a dangerously fast speed. They flew by and continued to swerve from lane to lane as they...
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Ovation: Grace Karaffa Fights For Chapstick On Her Playground.
I’m an addict. I’ve always been an addict. I’ve got a Chapstick monkey on my back. I’ve been hooked on the waxy lip balm for as long as I can remember. I’ve always carried Chapstick in my book bag....
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Diatribe: Drive-Thru Funeral Homes.
I hate funeral homes. Growing up in the Midwest, I was familiar with funeral home only as a venue where families would host a “wake”. It was an old European custom for mourners to stay awake and keep...
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Diatribe: When Your $10,000 Hermès Bag Smells Like Pot Or A Skunk And You...
My dog is a spoiled little creature who, generally, thinks she’s the boss of me. But, when it comes time to go for a walk I make it very clear that I am in charge and we both know who is in charge. I...
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Diatribe: Can You Imagine Getting A Text Message From Your Dead Grandmother?
My late grandfather always had a pencil. As both a musician and a craftsman by trade, and having served as a navigator in the air force, he had grown accustomed to the need for taking notes in his...
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Diatribe: Perceived Carry Decoys.
I read too much news. Sometimes it’s hard to believe. Today I’ve stumbled across something so incredibly stupid I can’t believe it’s not satire. How about fake guns for those who want to give off a...
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Ovation: Smoker Fined For Throwing Butts Out Of Window.
One Saturday evening last month, we had a few friends over for a holiday party. We prepared for weeks and, knowing that some of our guests would be seeing our home for the first time, we found...
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Diatribe: Designer Rick Owens Flashes Paris Fashion Week.
I watch enough Project Runway to know that avant garde fashion isn’t for everyone. Defined as leading edge, progressive and experimental, clothes of this nature are intended to prevent the industry...
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Ovation: Alfred Ajani’s Pay-It-Forward Train Station Job Search.
Toward the very end of my college career, I attended a few seminars that the school offered centered around topics like “Building a Resume” and “How To Prepare For An Interview”. That was pretty much...
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Diatribe: “Happy Valentine’s Day. I Named A Roach For You”
Singles Awareness Day is just around the corner and the world is awash in all things red and pink. What used to be a day set aside for gentlemen to bring their special ladies a box of chocolates or a...
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Diatribe: Nadkins.
We come across them all the time … things we didn’t know we don’t need. There is a peculiar marketplace available where entrepreneurs who think they’ve discovered the solution to enormous problem...
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